Tiara's Corner

It's 3.30am July 7th 2008..
I'm 23 today.. :) i'm getting old.. lol

the first one who sent me a happy b'day text message was mario..
the first one who gave me a call at midnite was my best friend FJ..
And the first one who sent me a gift was deekay my former superman lol. he sent it 2months b4 my b'day as if he knew that he would have left me on my 23rd b'day.
Anyway, thanks to them. Especially Mario n FJ..

i guess i better try to shut my eyes now.. :)
hope u guys have a nice day tomorrow.. Nite nite

~ Thursday, 19th of June 2008
met a friend at atrium plaza central jakarta. We went to sabang street 4 dinner at warung desa.

~ Friday, 20th of june 2008
met the same friend again at atrium TransJ bus shelter. Then we went to al-amira arab resto (raden saleh street, central jakarta) 4 dinner. Had a lamb biryani. Yummy.

~ Saturday, 21st of june 2008
another day with the same person. Lol. We met at atrium plaza, then we went to FJ's house. The house was empty, FJ was the only one home coz everyone else was in the airport (FJ's mum went to saudia 4 umrah trip)

~ Sunday, 22nd of June 2008
exhausted, so i stayed at home. my cousin visited us with her 2kids (safira 5year old, and abbas 2year old) so i got busy with the children. I made them chocolate cookies :D .

~ Monday, 23rd of June 2008
well, it's only 4 o'clock in the morning.. I'm sleepless.. I have 3choices to go tomorrow..

1.to GM office. To deactivate my membership and bring my stuffs home.
2.to Tanggerang kids prison with FJ to teach jailed kids. I don't know wat to teach tho, maybe english or Quran recitation.
3.to Bogor park with a friend

Dunno which one to choose.. Lol. But if i go with FJ i gotta go in an hour (5am) coz the meeting point is 1 and half hours away from where i live lol. And we have to be there at 6.30am. Don't think i can make it.. *hmmm.. Eventho I really wanna go..

that's all for now.. Have a nice day everyone..

So many changes..
A simple curiosity has turned my life upside down..
I really miss him but i think he doesn't give a damn..
I know i'm a fool to feel all these feelings for him..
why does life have to be this way?
it's not fair..
Wat have i done to deserve this? I'll keep asking this questions..
Eventho i know i'll never find the answers..

*********
~updates from the real world~
my best friend FJ got an accident. He fell from his friend's motorbike while he was spending his weekend at anyer beach last week.
He got a few stitches on his left arm.. And bruises all over his left leg hip arm and shoulder..
He's getting better now alhamdulillah..
We met last wednesday at Q-bic cafe, and i told him about wat happened between me and my "superman" (yeah he was still sick.. He spent 5minutes just to get in the car lol)
may Allah bless him for being such a great friend. He's more like a brother to me.

before he dropped me home we went to his house, and i met his cute baby niece.. She's so cute and her nick name is same as mine -yara- lol.. (pic attached)

that's all for now..
Remember me in ur prayers..
~tiara~

1. I love u more than anything on earth (hmmm)
2. I promise i'll never ever leave u no matter wat (yeah rite)
3. Aku sayang banget banget banget sama kamu, Yar.. (*singing* semua bisa bilang sayang.. Semua bisa bilang)
4. Kamu ce, kamu gak akan ngerti. It's a guy thing (........endless)
5. Kalo gak ada kamu, aku gak tau mau apa.. (aku mau chocolate yg banyak to keep me sane lol)
6. I swear by the name of Allah, aku cuma mau kamu and bukan orang lain.. (this one makes me wonder)
7. Kamu ce paling sabar yang pernah aku kenal.. (sabar atau idiot? Hahahah)
8. I swear by God, aku sayang and cinta bgt sama kamu (are u an atheist or something?)
9. Emang aku jahat banget, that's why aku gak layak banget sama2 kamu (lol i never thought wat u meant jahat tuh ky gini)
10. Gak kasian apa sama aku? (sekarang liat, siapa yg lebih perlu dikasianin? Me or u?)
11. aku pulang juga i got nothing (i did wonder why when u said that.. Now i know why..)
12. I hope kamu find some1 yg bener2 perfect for u (u were perfect)
13. Percuma jg aku sama2 km.. Aku dah gak mau n pengen apa2 (oh.. So u said that coz u knew exactly wat was going to happen)
14. Aku gak mau berharap apa2 sm orang, coz at the end, cuma aku aja yang sakit sendiri.. (this one makes me laugh... A bitter laugh)
15. Just know that aku sayang bgt bgt bgt sama kamu, with all my heart (exactly the same as my response that day, *sayang dari hongkong?* lol)
16. I don't wanna waste ur time sama2 orang useless like me (lol gak mau aja dah 2.5yearz, gimana kalo u wanted to waste my time?)
17. aku dah made decision mau stay here for 4yearz (was it to delay our big day or to waste another 2years of my life? Lol)
18. I never meant to hurt u.. (then? U did it unintentionaly? Lol u played an extremely dangerous game.. U could have killed someone)
19. Sorry for everything. Now plz let me live in peace. Plz. (ok, u can live in peace.. Thanks for making my life the darkest hell)
20. I ws just doin it 4 fun (why do i have to suffer for ur "fun"?)
21. Hi. Just wana say, i really love you.. Sayang bgt bgt bgt sm km,only God knows dat. Gak ada yg lbh baik,than kamu. (only God knows why on earth did u say that to me)
22. Love u swtheart... Kgn bgt sm km... I dont knw,skrg i feel like shittt... Benci sm everything. (was "that" the reason?)
23. Kgn bgt sm km. Sorry yea,aku jahat bgt sm km.. Aku gk tau mau gmn... Aku jahat bgt,i hate myself. Love u . . (again.. Was "that" the reason why u said that km jahat bgt sm aku?)

~~~~***~~~~
yes i remember everything.. Only the last few messages i copied from some sms archive.. The rest are from my memories..

It was too deep.. It was too perfect.. It was too damn real to me :( stupid me..

now how do i erase all these from my head? From my heart? My feelings.. My dreams.. My wishes.. My hopes..

i thought it was perfect.. now it turned out this way.. i have nowhere to go to.. no real destination.. I'm lost in the middle of the way coz my destination doesn't even exist.. It's a dream land.. A land that only exists in dreams..

p.s: i dreamt about u last nite.. Yes u.. The real u..

It's been 6days...
Since that disaster happened...
And i still can't stop thinking about it...
I still have so many unanswered questions...
Dunno who to ask.. Dunno where i can find the answers..
I asked him and "he" refused to explain..
I offered to him my friendship.. And again he refused.. It's ok though.. I know i'll be ok.. Insha Allah..

let's see the bright side of this.. At least i found out about it before it's too late..

2 and half years wasted for something that doesn't even exist? lol nothing is wasted. Everything happened insha Allah for a reason.. I might not be able to figure out wat was the reason of wat he has done to me tho..

dunno wat i've done to deserve this.. maybe without realizing it, i'm such a cruel heartless person? Hmmm..
Maybe in the past i hurt other ppl unintentionally? Maybe it is just my fate to be hurt?

Maybe happiness is just not for me.. I'll turn 23 next month insha Allah.. And the only happiness in my life has turned into the biggest disaster.. The only person who really knows how to make my life seems much brighter has gone in an unusual way.. Leaving me with nothing but pain darkness and questions..

everything happened so suddenly.. to be honest, i'm not ready for this.. i can't accept it yet.. i still can't believe it.. the slideshow of those images constantly plays in my head.. i can't believe my eyes.. I spent hours starring at those pictures.. the innocent look.. So contrast with the heart.. Hmmm.. But i can't hate him.. Not even a lil bit..

and the stupidest fact is.. I really really miss him.. :( subhanallah

i want him back in my life as a friend.. that's all..

to sarah : thanks alot.

And i'm still awake.. :( i'm feeling extremely down.. And the worst thing is, i ain't got no1 to talk to except GOD, bobo n cas (pillow n teddy bear).. My superman used to be there for me.. He used to at least listen to me when i need someone to talk to.. But everything has changed.. He's different now.. My grandma is downstairs but i don't wanna cry to her and make her worry, she loves me so much, i don't wanna make her sad.. I never show my sadness to her.. Eventho sometimes i can't hide it but at least i don't cry in front of her except when we watch sad drama or reality show together lol. In fact i never cry on anyone's shoulder.. Not even my mum or dad..

yeah that's me.. My friends used to ask me, "how can u be so happy all the time?" lol.. But when they found out about my "sad stories" their comment was something like this "omG yara, u're such a strong girl" lol. They don't know that i'm breaking apart inside..

so it's a good thing to blog, at least i can let it out.. All the burden in my heart.. Eventho i know nobody reads this blog, except a few bored friends who check my blog when they ain't got nothing to do.. and probably a few lost web surfer lol. But i'm so damn sure they only read my last blog.. :p and perhaps they only read the titles lol.

~~~~~~

i knew "life is not easy", but i didn't know it's so damn hard..

oh God, plz don't put on my shoulder the burden i can't carry..

Writing the title.. Lol. Yep, as u know my blog is more like a personal diary.. And nobody writes titles on diary, we only write date and time..

today just after ashr, FJ sent me an SMS sayin that he has been ill. He got typhoid. I feel so guilty coz i shouldn't be the last person to know. Alhamdulillah he's getting better now. May Allah grant him a complete shifa. Ameen..

my day today is going ok.. I went to the shelter house for the homeless kids in the morning.. I made a chocolate cake for them.. :D it was so yummy, my friend Syahida named it chocolicious cake :p i took a pic but can't upload it here coz the size of the pic is quite big 800kb, i'll upload it later on my flickr site insha Allah.. Btw, our shelter house for the homeless kids has no name.. Any suggestion for the name? Rumah pelangi (the rainbow house) sounds nice doesn't it? Or rumah firdaus (the highest heaven house)? *the second one is syahida's idea.. I don't like it coz it just doesn't suit the kids.. yea it's more islamic.. But i think we should make the name a bit more "general" coz the volunteers are not only muslims..

from the shelter house, i went home, cleaned up my room (it was a mess), and now after maghrib prayer, i'm just relaxing here on the balcony.. Drinking a cup of jasmine tea and typing this..

i hope i can go to sleep early tonight insha Allah.. Tomorrow morning i gotta go to bogor the rain city to meet my darling friend Ken.. I miss u K.. If i leave early tomorrow, then insha Allah i'll get enough time to stop at the famous Bogor park for an hour or 2.. *one of my fav get away destinations when i was in high school*

that's all i guess, now i'll get something to eat and meet my grandma downstairs..
Enjoy the rest of ur day guys..
Wassalaamu alaykum

After everything that happened recently between me and him.. I thought he would change.. I thought that he would never hurt me again.. But i was wrong..
i really don't understand him at times.. He wasn't like this before.. He's different since he's in scotland.. :( i don't know why tho..

hmmm.. Let's change the subject.. I canceled my trip to jogja coz my mum asked me to visit her in Palembang, south sumatera.. Maybe i'll go there next week insha Allah..

i'm still searching for a new job, and this "tiring process" made me realize something.. It opened my eyes.. How stupid and blind i've been.. I've wasted 5years of my life.. But regrets won't bring any good.. So there's nothing i can do except trying my best to make things right.. I hope i still have the chance tho.. I'll insha Allah turn 23 in july.. omG! i'm so old :( but at least now i have plans.. I ain't going to waste my time no more insha Allah..
for now i'll just focus to start my first plan :D and trying to set up another small business with a friend :) if it's going good then i don't have to work and i can do my first plan easier insha Allah..

i think that's all for now.. It's midnite here, i better try to shut my eyes.. I haven't got enough sleep in the last a few days.. I'm not sleepy coz there are ppl that i'm missing right now.. My lil brother fauzan in palembang.. My other lil sisters and brothers in Jakarta that i haven't seen in 2months.. My mum.. My step dad that i love like my real dad.. My lil cousin amdo.. my friends in Jogja my second hometown.. My friends here who are too busy with their own lifes :p salimah, salma, layla, nouree, dina, Where have u been girls?..
My second bestest friend K, u haven't forget that i luv u have u? :p.. Last but not least, my superman.. I love him more than anything on earth..
I ask Allah to keep those ppl i mentioned above safe under His protection, wherever they are.. Ameen..

yeah i know it's been a looooong time since my last update about wat's goin on in my life..
many things happened..

i traveled to eastern indonesia.. u can see the pics on my flickr site http://flickr/photos/unrealpro . i left GM, i no longer work with them coz my boss decided to migrate to Australia with his family..

at the moment i volunteer teaching homeless kids with my friends, and trying to set up a lil business with my friend.. it's not going smoothly but alhamdulillah..

oh yes, i'm planning to go to jogja next week.. meeting my friends my ex housemates.. we're going to spend time together once again insha Allah.. coz after next month, it would be impossible for us to spend time together again.. coz everyone will go home to stay in their hometown..

that's all i guess.. there's something else happening.. but i don't wanna talk about it yet..

remember me in ur prayers..
~tiara~

Too many weird things happened today..
Too much headache and heartache..
Confusions and disappointments.. :(
i feel sooo unloved..

even my city has become so unkind..
More mean ppl at the bus station, more dirty looks, more intolerances..
no random smiles, no friendly faces..

Today is the worst day in the last 2months.. :(
Jakarta has become a city that full of mean individualistic ppl.. Full of tired and stressed faces.. ppl who don't give a damn about others, they only care about money lol i can clearly see that on their faces..

They look like robots who work from dusk to dawn, they go home exhausted, and empty spiritually.. That's why they look like robots.. Their hearts r dead.. Insensitive.. Hard as stone..

Perfect example of wat Allah says in the holy Quran about ppl who loves this dunya too much and fear death.. They would do anything to gain more in this dunya and they forgot that they won't live forever..

May Allah give us all hidayah till our last breath.. And may Allah put the dunya only on our hands, not in our hearts.. Ameen

I know it's been a long time since my last update about wat's goin on in my life..
So here's the summary..
1. In the middle of ramadhan, i got chickenpox.. It was horrible.. Even the doc said chickenpox in adults usually more annoying.. She was so right i guess.. Coz i had MILD chickenpox and it was annoying like hell..
2.after eid i went to lombok for about 10days in total.. It was an awesome experience.. I got lots of pics.. I'll upload them on my new flickr site once yahoo unblock 'speedy broadband' ip addresses..
3. Just about a week after k's mum passed away.. The mother of my cyber sis (slpnbuty) that i love just like my real sis passed away.. May Allah grant both of them jannatul firdaws n keep them away from ahzabul qubr.. Ameen
4. A few days ago i met my old best friend Fahjar.. It was the first time we had the chance to meet and talk freely after 5years.. I have uploaded some of the pics on my new flickr account.
5. Finally i created flickr account with unrealpro web shortcut.. Here's the addy http://flickr.com/photos/unrealpro
6. There r other things i wanted to share here but at the moment i just can't remember them..

note: before i decided to publish this blog, i kept it in my draft folder for a few days.. Lol that's how lazy i am these days..

the mother of my bestest friend passed away..

I feel so deeply sorry K.. I know u love her so much.. I've never experienced losing a close family, so i'd be lying if i say i know how u feel :( but from ur voice when u called me, i know for sure u r so extremely sad.. Eventho i know u r so much stronger than me, u have more sabr than me, and ur taqwa level is masha Allah higher than mine, but i know u r breaking down now.. I wish i could be there just to hold ur hand and tell u that ur mum is in a better place now.. God will never betray a wonderful woman like her..

U said to me with ur shaky voice... 'she belongs to Allah so now He took her from us, we must accept it and just be strong..' i was cryin silently when i was speakin to u on the phone yesterday.. Once again u amazed me K.. With ur imaan, ur sabr and tawaqal.. Ur such a wonderful person.. I love u, u are always in my du'a list.. Eventho now we can't spend time together like before, but u r always in my thoughts..

no other friend ever loved me the way u do.. U never said that u love me except once in the birthday card u sent with the sweet gift, but everything that u have done for me said it OUT LOUD.. :) even a small nasihah u give me everytime we chat or just a quick hi on the phone means alot to me.. I don't want u to disappear from my life.. Mwah for u and ur lil baby Ubaid ur Rahmaan..

can't wait to see u again next summer holiday, make sure u spend some time in Jakarta before u go to ur hometown..

a prayer for ur mum.. ~oh Allah, plz accept all her good deeds.. Forgive her sins.. Light her kubr.. Keep her away from ahzabul kubr.. Grant her janatul firdaus.. give the family unlimited sabr.. And bless them with ur Rahmah..~

The eid for me this time was really hectic.. And this was the first time in my life i did all the eid preparations by myself, coz mum was not here with us.. I made cookies, went shopping, cooked for the eid, went shopping again, cleaned up the house, made more cookies, went shopping, and finally 3days after the eid i got too tired and my liver started giving me problems again..
So i've been in hospital for 3days now but alhamdulillah the result of the last blood test was good. So insha Allah this afternoon i can go home..

enough about me, let's talk about the eid.. :) i celebrated it on friday, while most ppl in my country celebrated it on saturday so it felt like i had 2eids lol lucky me.. The first day was kinda quite.. The second and third was hectic..

the moment was too beautiful to be left unmemorized, so i took some pics.. But the grown up ppl won't like it if i put up their pics here, so i'll just upload the pics of the kids.. These are the pics of Wafa, Dhila, Fidha, and Shanty.. The kids of my relatives.. I'll add an eid album and upload more eid pics as soon as i'm on pc..

take care my friends.. And do remember me in ur prayers..
~tiara~

Yesterday i went to raihan n bought some clothes for my grandma.. when i was about to leave the shop i saw a cute NIQABI pin :p it was the only one so i had to buy it.. it was just a pin but i'm sure no1 else has it coz non niqabi wouldn't buy it and usually the niqabi dont buy these stuff lol.. yep i'm an exception.. i'm the weird one :p lol. I attached it on my fav pouch.. I added the pic.. Tell me wat u think about the pin? Cute isn't it? :p

~~~~~~~~~~
Tilawah note: Al Imraan the last few pages.. Yep i'm speeding masha Allah :D..

tahfidz note: no new surah coz i haven't even tried *doh* @ me..

the book i'm reading: Still Ramadhaan fatawa..

My mood: dark blue..

about my superman: i'd rather talk about coconut now lol i'm just so grrr at him.. but i still love him so damn much..

I hate the fact that life is a mystery..
I hate the fact that life is so full of uncertainty..
I hate the fact that time changes almost everything till eternity..
I hate the fact that u can't always be with me even when i'm in a tragedy..

I hate the fact that distance does matter..
I hate the fact that there's no guarantee that u will be mine forever..
I hate the fact that i love u too much that i'm so afraid if we are not meant to be together..
I hate the fact that if i ask u "will u ever stop loving me?" i want to hear u say ~NEVER~

*TIARA, Jakarta, sept 17th 2007 00:06am*

~~~~~~~~~~
OMG! This is my first rhyme poem i write for my superman :p lol i don't care if it sounds weird and the grammar is a mess as long as it rhymes.. Haha.. I love this poem

1.Start memorizing the Qur'aan again.. Gotta finish the juz tabarak n juz 'amma by the end of this Holy Month..

2.Start a healthier lifestyle.. Eat healthy and exercise regularly..

3.Spend more time in the kitchen.. :p lol yea i'm serious.. I'll start learning how to cook properly insha Allah :D. I don't wanna be one of those ppl who think they can cook but in fact they can't :p

4.Better my ibadah.. I hardly do any nawafil prayers these days.. I'll start making it a habit again this Ramadhaan insha Allah..

5.Reduce my "nature club" activities and spend more time in majelis ilm.. There's nothing wrong with being active in the nature clubs but i think i spent too much time in these clubs..

6.Stop being ms.grumpy ms.clumsy and ms.stupid

7.Stop spending money in "useless" things

8.Learn how to 'listen' to others

~~~~~~~~~~
*thinking* that's all for now i guess.. I'm sure i missed a point but i can't remember it..

This Ramadhaan is so special coz i'm spending it with my bro n sis. They moved in with me yesterday.. They gonna stay here for a few months.. I'm happy they r here but i'm missing my other lil bro Fauzan.. *sigh*

my mum dad and my lil bro won't be here in jakarta on eid.. so sad.. but my uncle is gettin married after the eid, that's y they gonna spend the eid with my dad's family in Palembang..

Oh yes, about the earthquakes last wednesday nite, i didn't even feel it coz i was on the bus.. my family in Palembang got affected but nobody got hurt.. alhamdulillah..

~~~~~~~~~~

There's something i'd like to change this Ramadhaan.. hope i can achieve it.. But that's not my only Ramadhaan resolutions :p i have a list.. I might post it later insha Allah..

Happy Ramadhaan to everyone.. May Allah accept our ibadah n may the spirit of Ramadhaan stays with us till the next Ramadhaan.. Ameen

5th of september: my superman left brunei

6th of september: i missed him, went to gm office, went shoppin, got headache and fever..

7th of september: went to the beach, went to al furqan mosque central jakarta, met some friends, took my kitty to the animal clinic..

8th of september: i was ill, sleeping all day long.. In the afternoon mariam visited me with her HUBBY! Surprise surprise.. She got married and didn't tell her friends..

9th of september: didn't go nowhere, stuck in front of my laptop all day long.. watching videos of heroes season 1 and masi oka in tv interviews.. yattaaaa! :p thanks to youtube..
cleaned up the house.. i'm allergic to dust so the results are... eyes irritation and non stop sneeze..

10th of september: woke up late, had breakfast, a quick shower, and now i'm on my way to gm office while typing this.. my head is spinning but i'm happy.. coz ramadhan is coming.. time to better ourselves spiritually..

gtg now, i might post a second update for today later.. have a nice day everyone.. :)

my mood today: bluish pink :p

the image below is for my superman.. that's the wallpaper on my phone atm :(

I'll continue fighting..
Fighting for us..
Not giving up..
Because i believe that the end result will be worth the pain and suffering we have gone through..
Some blows may be harder than others..
But i'll always pull through, as u need to pull through..
Never saying you don't love me..
Guiding me to what u need..
Showing me..
Telling me..
Getting up after we have fallen..
Shows strength, endurance, the will to achieve anything..
I know.. Passion, love, tears, will wax and wane.. For it's only a natural cycle..
I may not be the brightest person, but my feelings hold true..
And if i ever hear u say i give up.. Ill pick u right back up, however, i may not know how, but i will try..
I will be here when u need me..
For i will continue fighting..

~~~~***~~~~
this poem is written by my fav poet, i dunno his name coz he deleted his name from his profile.. It was either james or jeff lol..

Thanks to him for this beautiful poem.. I can really relate to this poem.. :)

sunday 2nd of september 2007 at the Islamic Center of Jakarta..

The topic was "Religion as Nasihah".. It was a great conference, but the sound system was a bit crapy.. And the translator was either sleepy or in need of vit C.. Lol.. But overall, it was a nice organized conference..

I met many old friends and i was happy coz there was no "wife hunter" :p

i added some pics of the Islamic Center.. The roof, the third floor where the girls pray... men free area.. And the first floor where the guys were resting after the conference

I couldn't sleep last nite and now i'm drinking a cup of black coffee coz i gotta stay awake..

An old friend who was really close to me promised that she will go with me this morning to the Jakarta Islamic Center..
There's an islamic conference today.. Not just the regular monthly islamic conference, this month is special coz the lecturers are ulama from the Islamic University of Madeenah and from hadral maut Yemen..

But just now she sent me a text sayin that she can't go with me coz her classmates are coming to her house..
So that means i will have to go alone coz it's 6.50am and i'll leave the house at 8.45am.. I'm lucky coz i live not far from the islamic center but none of my close friends who is available lives near me.. *faint*
it's ok tho coz in the islamic center i'll meet other sisters too.. The only problem is, i don't like the way of a few shameless brothers stare at me and other sisters.. Especially sisters who walk alone.. Maybe those brothers are "the wife hunters" lmao.. Just because we walk alone they assume that we are single.. Lol idiot!

Anyway, i'm excited about the conference coz the last time they held the mashaikh conference in february 2007 i missed it coz i was in sumatera island..

~~~~~~
update about my day yesterday, it was ok.. Had a long and honest convo with my superman.. I love him only, he loves me and no1 else, that's all that matters.. :)

my mood this morning is... Pink.. :x

It's been 10days since my last update.. I've been quite busy and didn't feel like blogging.. But today i get the blogging mood again :p

lots of things happened, some are good, some are bad as usual..
Me and my superman are back together.. I'm happy but today he started being funny again.. Ah.. Don't wanna talk about it..

Yesterday, i met my big sister, for the first time in my life.. She's beautiful.. She's married and she has a year old lil guy.. We talked for an hour then i had to go coz mr.Jeff called and asked me to come to the GM office.. He said it was urgent.. i had no choice, i went to the GM office by bus..
Guess wat was this 'urgent' thing he talked about? he asked me to take his foreigner friends to the art galleries at the ancol beach.. *faint*
wat's so urgent about this? Why me? My english is crap and i know nothing about art.. plus the ancol beach is not far from the GM office! Why didn't he just call a cab and ask the driver to take them there? Doh! I was in a real bad mood but tried to act normal.. Lol.
after a few hours in the art galleries, i called a cab and ask the driver to take them to their hotel in central Jakarta..

I went home straight from the ancol beach.. I reached home exhausted but when i tried to sleep i couldn't.. I missed my superman so much.. Tried to mc him but his number was off.. About half an hour after that he sent a text..
~~~~~~
my day today was 'ok'.. Didn't go to GM.. Went shopping with my lil sis.. We had lunch at inagi japanese resto cempaka mas.. I bought her a shoe.. She seems so happy.. :) it was the first time i went out just with her without the other 3 lil monsters.. Lol.

now i'm home.. It's about 8pm here.. I'm sitting in the living room with my grandma.. Drinking my tea and typing this..
I might update this blog again later tonight..
Bye for now :)

Sometimes i wonder what it takes to be good enough to fight through the mistakes

a hazeing fog sets over my mind, i find myself thinking of u and i'm willing to leave behind all my fears and all these past tears..
They cut deep these razor sharp sheers..
the disappointment sets in like clockwork it seems..
i'm beginning to believe that happines only exists in dreams..
-----
another poem strawberry gal sent me